Hobbies

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Ever since I was a kid, I have loved trains. It all started with Thomas the Tank Engine. I adored the show and had all the toys. Every day, I would build a new track and play with the trains. This eventually evolved into me building my own models. Now, I’m something of a pro at it. I even go as far as to create blueprints before I build them!

My other big hobby is laundry. What’s more fun than that? I always throw on some sweet jams or maybe a Tarantino film while I do it. It just feels so satisfying to get the folds just right and have everything clean and organized!

Taldo Watfonso – Medical Clerk

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As a rule, I try to have as much fun at work as possible. That’s not to say I don’t take my job seriously, but what’s life without a little excitement and risk?

Instead of carrying out my typical daily routine of filing patient information and sending reports to patients doctors, I’ve constructed a little game to help me pass my meaningless hours: I call it “Prescription Roulette”.

The object of the game is to put myself in the randomly selected patient’s position, so as to become a more well rounded and empathetic individual. This is done by taking micro-doses of their assigned prescriptions (additionally, this acts as a training tool to build my immune system to a near-superhuman level). So far I’ve come across strep throat, pink eye, and gonorrhea. I have only experienced a mild fever and hives thus far, I’d say we’re on the right path…

To be continued…

– TW

Eutie Lornandez

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When I’m not chasing the next ghost story or writing horoscopes, I love watching sappy romantic movies like Titanic and stalking celebrities online. I’m not talking sending them mail or breaking into their joints—that’s not my style. I stick to scrolling through their Instagram pages or pinning funny throwback pictures of them on my various Pinterest boards.

I perfected the art of making paper air planes during my time at The Spirit Standard—we would fold the week’s edition right off the press and throw them into hallways, out our windows and even off rooftops at night so it seemed there really were spirits in our town.

Because I’m always on the run, I’ve grown to love ready-to-eat meals. Let’s just say I haven’t gotten tired of PB&J sammies since my kinder-care days.

The last thing you should know about me is that I laugh like a hyena when I get really excited—hence, they’ve been my favorite animal since my very first heckle.

Rodder Culling, Beverage Speculator

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My job as a Beverage Speculator consists of investing in beverages, in the hopes to make a profit. I often will buy out all of the beverages at restaurants, and sell them individually to the tables, at a higher price. Because I am so young, I have been pretty successful in my career. Nobody wants to say no to kids selling drinks, look at the success of Lemonade stands. I started out my career on my driveway, selling lemonade when I was three. I am now 8, and buying out all of the high class restaurants beverages in downtown Seattle, and making more than 100k a year.

Eutie Lornandez, BA, Bio Ghosts

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I wanted to become a ghost hunter at a very young age, so it only seemed (super)natural to pursue a college degree in Paranormal Studies. I attended the Parapsychology Institute in Spookstown, Minnesota, for four years as a Bio Ghost major.

I wrote for the university’s newspaper, The Spirit Standard, my junior and senior years. Revealing the history behind countless “ghost stories” in our residence halls and other parts of town was an absolute blast.  

At the beginning of my senior year, my father passed away. The news left me devastated, but I strangely found comfort in the weekly horoscopes released in the newspaper’s astrology section. I was instantly hooked and became an astrology beat reporter.

After graduation, I earned my AMAFA (Advanced Member of the American Federation of Astrologers) certification and now work as an Astrological Secretary, where I am blessed to bring peace to people around the world in times of need.

Ficille Chapkins, Probationary Associate

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I am an associate in Paris always being disciplined by my employer because I am in a constant state of probation. Every waking moment is shear pain and torture so it’s a good thing I got a PhD in entrepreneurial mysticism and I know how to create products that help relax the human body. It’s called marijuana. I grow marijuana. I don’t do it for the money. I do it for the good people of this earth.

Ludi Littleland, McDonald’s Writer

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Being a sophisticated ans talented McDonald’s Writer in Tokyo, Japan, job duties involve writing detailed scripts for our: TV commercials, job interview questions for managers to ask applicants, and employees to say while cashiering the drive thru. Not only do I write scripts, but I also come up with unique/authentic names for food on the menu. (The McRib was my best one). Even though my work is very behind the scenes, I like to say that my job is the backbone of this company.

Alexlivia Sullistead, Tattoo Comedian

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In my line of work you have to have thick skin. Literally. Most of my job is sitting at tattoo shops and making fun of the clients that are getting inked up. The jokes aren’t always directed at the customers sometimes I make jokes about the artists, or the stereotypes surrounding tattoos.  Most of the time I get hired by tattoo shops, and a few times a year I get booked for a tattoo convention. I am in tattoo shops so much that naturally my whole body is covered in tattoos. My main goal in this career path is to make people laugh and try to remind them that it’s not that serious.