A Worthy Shinigami

Moments before being vaporized, I heard Ryuk laughing behind me. The god of death warned me when I picked up his Death Note that “No human who’s ever come into contact with a death note has lived to tell the tale.” Ryuk knew throughout the entire operation that I was going to die at the end of it. Once my spirit left my body, he was there to accompany me to the world of the dead: the Shinigami realm. Little did I know that the price for a shinigami to enter the human world, is the life of another human; I’ll have to keep that trick in mind now that I’m immortal! That was Doom’s biggest mistake! I will create an ideal world that is free from all of the rotten souls that inhabit it. I AM THE NEW GOD OF THIS WORLD!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i’M dOoM GuY

SO THIS MF DOOM GUY THINKS HE OUTSMARTED ME DOES HE!? Well he’s absolutely right I had no idea this was coming. This dude just came out of nowhere, waltzed into the shuttle right behind us, and we had no fcking clue he was there. Doesn’t Palpatine have the force?? Shouldn’t he have felt his presence or something?? Mother of Ryuk, this is worse than Disney’s writing.

Anyway, Doom Guy killed me and I had no clue it even happened until I was ashes on the floor. Palpatine’s b*tch ass probably found a way out of the situation too like the coward he is. CURSE YOU DOOM GUY! I WAS THIS CLOSE TO CREATING THE PERFECT WORLD!!

My Life: Beginning to End

Hello there. My name is Magnus Nimbus. From an early age I was objectified by my family as a garden gnome. Everyone in my city thought it was cute and watched my adolescent years be wasted away in my front yard. I missed out on everything. My hatred boiled within me for both my family and my city that turned a blind eye on me. My plan was simple. Become mayor of the city I despise most, set fire to the sheriff station, set fires around the city, and tear down what built me up to be this hateful man. 

Unfortunately my simple plan wasn’t so simple after all and I was stopped by two hooligans at nearly every turn. Turns out one of those two hooligans was my own brother. He stood before me after finding my identity. I figured I would feel nothing but hate for the person that stood by and let my parents treat me the way they did, but when I was in his midst I suddenly regretted all of my choices. I vowed to never rein terror on this city again. Just as I made this proclamation my brother himself shot me and I faded away into darkness and took my hate with me.

All Too Easy

Palpatine is such a schmuck. “Dark Lord of the Sith” my ass, this dude is as simple-minded as a gnat. All I had to do was tell him he could electrocute and murder anyone he wanted as long as we make it to NASA and hijack a rocket to gtf off this planet. For whatever reason it seems like Doom Guy was a bit more difficult to convince since he’s nowhere to be seen. Whatever, he was a pawn anyway. Once all of the security guards were tazed by that weird lightning sh*t Palpatine has going on, I grabbed the notepad with the pilots’ names and killed them off for a smoother infiltration into the rocket. As easy as stealing an apple from a Shinigami.

I never saw this coming (#4)

Im like Doom… what the hell are you doing here, and where have you been?! Before I could say another word he pulls out this BFG (Biiiig F*ckin Gun) and just starts spraying and praying. He incinerated my buddy Light, rest his soul, but I managed to dive behind the pilots seat and escape through the hatch in the floor before Doom could get me. Its unfortunate, light probably thinks I died right there with him. Next thing I know Doom Guy was firing up the engine and on his way up. Thats the last I ever saw him. I came to find out a few days later that he had gone into hiding and was planning to overthrow us. But oh well, honestly life isn’t that bad. I turned in my lightsaber and resigned from being a villain. Plus I found this really cute corgi recently. Her name is Iggy and I plan to spend the rest of my journeys with her.

The light at the end of the tunnel (#3)

Well NASA’s security was worse than the guys they had at my high school. All I did was pull out my lightsaber and those guys were long gone. So when we got through there I felt a little better about our ridiculous plan. It was all falling into place. Not even 50 yards ahead of us was the spaceship we were planning to hijack and they were in the middle of priming the engines. We distracted the guys at the control panel and snuck our way into the cockpit of the ship. When we got into the cockpit there were 3 dead bodies. Light just laughed and said “I knew it would work!” apparently he had some death note or something? I don’t really know to be honest. I was just trying to get the hell out of there. Come to our surprise, Doom Guy appears right behind us in the control room with an evil look on his face…

Jailhouse Catwalk

*Scene background music: https://youtu.be/A4Rr4IhTKwQ (0:00 until 1:08)*

I spoke too soon, again.

I thought I had been careful enough to whack Nadine when no one was looking, but somehow word got out that the local Priss was dead… and I was the prime suspect. 

The cops came to the house this morning and cuffed me in front of Chuck. I couldn’t look at him as they escorted me to the car. I couldn’t look at my neighbors peering from their windows and snooping from their front lawns. 

I was tempted to fight and tell the police officer I didn’t do it, but I didn’t have the energy. So, into the car and behind bars I went. Even dead, Nadine won. But little does everyone back home know that I’m working on a project. A story, if you will. The truth. Let’s just say I’ve got some dirt on the coach, and I’m itching to dig it up. Am I turning into Nadine? Perhaps. Only time will tell.

Caught Green-Handed

I spoke too soon.

In the midst of celebration, someone behind me rushes down the stairs and onto the court. It’s a girl and she looks vaguely familiar. Wait, is that the team booster? Nadine? She turns around slowly, as if she were performing an act, and she’s holding something in her hand. Oh. My. God. Is that my f***ing check?! She must have gotten it from the coach’s office somehow.

She looks me dead in the eye with a smirk on her face before opening her big mouth. Don’t you dare, my stare replies. She makes the packed gym go instantly silent as she screams the one thing I was afraid of the whole night: the truth. 

“If only you actually had real talent and not mommy’s money, maybe then you would get to play all the time.” Game over. Fury curdles in the pit of my stomach and fumes up my throat—I almost thought smoke was going to come out of my ears. Look at her, the local Priss Princess nosying her way into yet another person’s business. My son’s business. MY business. And she thinks she’s just going to get away with that? Negative.

Despite my boiling anger, one look at Chuck shatters me into pieces. He looks so defeated. Confused. Embarrassed. No, I think. I never meant to hurt you, honey. I just wanted you to have your chance to play. But before I can tell him this, he storms out the gym doors and I quickly follow. The silent packed gym is suddenly eerie and gives me goosebumps. 

I chase Chuck out to the parking lot and he screams at me to leave him alone. I let him down. I let my son down. At that moment, as Chuck turns his back on me and begins walking home, I decide to seek revenge on that little priss if it’s the last thing I do.

***

*Scene background music: https://youtu.be/cpbbuaIA3Ds?t=229 (3:49 until end)*

I wait in an alley behind the back gymnasium doors and the sky starts to turn purple. Am I really about to do this? I ask myself. But the second I see Nadine walk out those doors, the fury returns and I reassure myself: Positive.

I let her gain some distance before I race toward her. She hears me behind her and tries to escape, but she doesn’t have enough time to make a run for it. I swing my purse in the air and whack her as hard as I can on the back of her head. She goes limp and falls to the sidewalk. Blood pools under her forehead and she doesn’t move. 

“Game over,” I say to the corpse as I walk away.

“ThAtS aLl wE NeEd tO dO” (#2)

So now Light and myself are sitting here the next day trying to figure out how we are gonna not only navigate through space but how we are going to acquire a spaceship to do so. I mean we had everything else figured out- hyperspace capability, deflector shields, thrust. I just needed some time to put the pieces together.

We got an informant who worked for NASA years prior to give us details on all the ships they had along with their capabilities. When we found the right one, all we needed to do was get through NASA’s security and hijack the ship.

So this is what we’re doing now? (#1)

The last few weeks have been a complete sh*t show. Hell literally broke loose and now the authorities are profiling the “villains”. I mean im hardly a villain.. Yeah I carry around a burning hot red blade but who cares. Thats no ones business anyways. I take one step out of my house and those guys are on me like white on rice. Anyways, per usual I’m with my buddy Light (Usually Doom Guy is with us but I think the feds got him and we haven’t heard from him) but he’s freaking out saying we have to escape but the only way is through space. I’m over here like great… i’m the only one who knows Venus from Mercury. Jesus, its only Tuesday.. this will be interesting.