Reject Meatloaf

Rodder Culling1 Comment

Loaves of bread are my favorite thing in the world. They are truly beautiful. They are the only thing that I eat for meals. My mom is not happy with my diet. She says that I need to eat more meat, so she tried tricking me, and said meatloaf is mostly loaf so I will eat it. She thinks that I love meatloaf now, but I can trick her back. Here is my Loaf disguised as meat. Shhhhh…. she doesn’t have to know.

  • 1 lb Imitation Meat
  • 7 Beef Ramon Seasoning packets
  • 2 cups Maple Syrup
  • 3 tbs Cayenne Pepper
  • 1 Large loaf of Bread

  1. Preheat oven to 419 degrees.
  2. Spread Maple Syrup and cayenne pepper onto a large pan.
  3. Place the loaf in the maple syrup and cayenne pepper mixture and place it in the oven for 10 minutes, flipping it every two minutes.
  4. Mix imitation meat with 9 beef ramen seasoning packets.
  5. Cover loaf with the meat mixture, and place in bread pan.
  6. Place in oven for 45 mins at 419 degrees.

dress with garlic or butter. enjoy.

Rejects On A Road Trip – St. Paul Edition

hubertalman5 Comments

It all started in my 1999 black Pontiac. I circled around the city of St. Paul to pick up all of my friends. By the time I picked up my last passenger, @butterbelieveitbud, it was 10:45 and we were ready to rock and roll. Our first somewhat exciting stop was the Minnesota State Fair. I had never been to such a place and man, was I excited. @rodcentpetercloth was talking about these supposedly amazing cookies called Sweet Martha’s (what kind of name is that? And who is Martha?)  After a short car ride, come to find out, the State Fair is closed for the season. I cannot believe I drove around the city to get these life-changing cookies and they are gone. I don’t know who to blame this tragedy on. While I could have looked at my passengers and started screaming at them for being so dumb, I was incredibly hungry. 

The consensus on where to eat was Black Coffee Waffle Bar, which @eutielornandez thought was a good idea. This place sounded okay and yeah, waffles are pretty good but sushi would be WAY better. After about a ten-minute car ride, we were at the restaurant. First off, the parking was AWFUL. It felt like hours after we actually found a spot that wasn’t miles away. Second, we were all cranky and in a bad mood because of the state fair incident, and Edald refused to talk to anybody. We wanted those stupid cookies and now we are all stuck at a waffle bar where, if you’re wondering, does not actually put alcohol in the waffles itself. After being bummed out about the fact that I will not be getting a vodka infused waffle, I decided to get one topped with apples and caramel. The waffle was warm and the whipped cream was a perfect topping, so I will admit that yes, it was a semi-decent waffle but it would have been a million times better with an added shot. 

After filling up at Black Coffee Waffle Bar, we started heading towards the Mall of America. Being a St. Paul native, the Mall of America is stupid. A huge mall? With the same stores on every level? Might as well have stayed at home. Being that I am an international corporate nurse, I obviously can buy my way throughout the store but what I actually, truly enjoy, is the over-hyped amusement park. Disney characters? Absolutely. Crazy parents? Love it. Screaming kids? That means more children for me to cuss at. This was by far the best part of our hopeless road trip and I really hope we get to go back…one day.

Beef Wellington for Rejects

Talraham AbingtonLeave a comment

There is nothing I like better than Beef Wellington. But, in today’s world who has time to go through the elaborate process of making such a thing? To satisfy my cravings, and to keep up with today’s active lifestyle I have developed a simple alternative that will delight your family, and impress your dinner party guests.

INGREDIENTS:
1 lb of ground beef
beef lard
1 can of mushrooms (don’t use fresh – too much time chopping)
1 can of SPAM sliced thin
2 packets of mustard lifted from your favorite restaurant of cafeteria
1 loaf of WonderBread

METHOD:
Throw everything in a blender, except for the WonderBread, and blend until it makes a paste reminiscent of putty.
Smash the Wonderbread with a large hammer until it is paper thin.
Layout the Wonderbread and place the meat putty ontop, forming a sort of loaf.
Wrap the Wonderbread around the meat putty loaf.

Cook in the microwave on High, until you think it might be safe to eat.
Slice to serve. That goo you find in the SPAM can makes a great sauce!
Goes great with Reject Pickled Vegetables, and Reject Olives.

Actual recipe looks NOTHING like this!!!

“Ghosted” Band Name

Eutie LornandezLeave a comment

Despite my crazy schedule of chasing ghost stories, writing horoscopes and stalking celebrities online, there has always been a part of me that has loved music. The feeling of being completely entranced by a song or a live performance is like no other.

I have also entertained the idea of forming a rock band with some of my friends from college. Because we all graduated with degrees in Paranormal Studies, our band would likely be called “Ghosted.” (What could possibly be spookier than being forever left on read?)

We would write rock tunes with awesome synthesizer features to achieve a haunting tone and we would perform in all-black outfits to blend into the background. I have it all planned out… I just need some other members, and we are good to go!

Reject Pickled Vegetables

Geranna AlgerLeave a comment

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup Brussel Sprouts 
  • 1 cup Onion
  • 1 cup Cabbage 
  • 1 cup Broccoli 
  • 2 cup Balsamic vinegar
  • 2 cup water and sugar 
  • 3 cup table salt 


Directions: 

Combine all ingredients together and place them in a mason jar. Refrigerate for 48 hours before consuming. Pour salt in the jar for some extra flavor. 

Geranna Alger, Sociological Activism

Geranna AlgerLeave a comment

I received my degree in Sociological Activism a few years back at the University of Tokyo. It was the perfect major for me because it taught me how to promote changes within human behavior. My background in this sort of knowledge helps me with my current job of corporate investor. Since I understand people really well, I am easily able to convince them things.

My college experience was quite lonely. I am an outcast in Tokyo, so it was tough to find true friends. Though, I was able to hang out with a few of my professors on the weekends. I am just glad I got out of there in 5 years instead of 7.

If you could be any animal what would it be, and why?

Geranna Alger1 Comment

A question I often think about: If you could be any animal what would you be and why?

Well, after a lot of thought, I have decided I’d be a kangaroo. I would love to live in Australia and hop around with all of the other animals. Did you know kangaroos can clear more than 8 meters with a single hop?! They are also good swimmers, something that I am currently not. Kangaroos seem like happy, laid back creatures. I would simply spend my days sunbathing, hopping, and chewing on shrubs.

Me in my next life.

The best part about kangaroos? They face few natural predators – (besides humans and wild dogs). Heres to hoping that in my next life I am a kangaroo!

Does Pineapple Belong on Pizza?

Rodcent Petercloth1 Comment

Does pineapple belong on pizza? If we’re talking about the fruit all prepared on top of a fresh, steaming hot pizza, then hell nO. Quite frankly, it’s disgusting and I can’t believe that people would ever dream of putting such a horrendous fruit on top of wonderful Italian cuisine. Now if you mean the whole pineapple, uncut, when you ask that question, then yes! I believe it’s an aesthetically pleasing fruit that makes for a wonderful (and organic) centerpiece of the pizza. And I’m all about the aesthetics, being a model and all. 

Final verdict? Pineapple does NOT belong on pizza. I wouldn’t eat it. Your grandmother wouldn’t eat it. Gordon Ramsay sure as hell wouldn’t eat it. So you’d best not eat it either. 

Wild Card

Luona SaxlingLeave a comment

I bought A Dog Dryer on Amazon and it was the WORST purchase ever!!! Looked like it came from Wish, if you know what that is trust me it’ll make you cry!!! It was miniature and I have a 170lb. English Mastiff. It was so loud sounded like torture chamber that you were supposed to put your dog in! Anyway my dog did not like it. I have this a 2/25 stars.

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