For starters, I would like to say that I only agreed to this adventure because I was hungry and my car broke down. I love being lonely but I was overcome by my hunger… I caved and decided to spend my Saturday afternoon with some acquaintances.

Saturday rolls around, I was the last one to be picked up… so I was able to put off socializing for a little bit. But then 10:45 rolled around… sure enough Hubert was posted outside my apartment in his black 1999 Pontiac. What a piece of junk. My car might be in the shop but it’s at least a Silver 2007 Ford. Bleh. Whatever… it’s just a car. Just remember the real reason you decided to go: you’re hungry and need to fill the massive void in your life somehow. I open the door of the car and take a seat in the back. I stare aimlessly out the window, not saying a word to anyone in the car.

Rodsent decided that we should go to the state fair and get some Sweet Martha’s cookies. However it’s winter… so the state fair is closed. Now we are sad AND hungry! After 15 minutes of complaining, we compromise on a local restaurant with raving reviews. We decided on Black Waffle & Coffee Bar, I mean who doesn’t like waffles. Some might say we were inspired by Donkey in the movie Shrek. We arrive to the waffle bar. No parking. We do a couple loops around the building until someone is backing out of their parking spot. We park and walk into the restaurant. A trendy hostess with red hair informs us that it’s going to be a thirty minute wait. More anger. So far this St. Paul adventure has been a complete and utter waste of time. Despite the waiting time, we stay put and suffer through it; our stomachs left to rumble. Finally, our wait is over. We order and our waffles come out quickly after. But surprise surprise, these waffles were not up to par. They were fully cooked! Everyone in their right mind knows that waffles are best served undercooked loaded with “I can’t believe it’s not butter.” They really served us fully cooked waffles with margarine. MARGARINE. Despicable. We ate the waffles spitefully and then headed on our way.

I was told we would get food and then leave, however, Rodsent and Hubert had other plans. They wanted to go to the Mall of America but all I wanted was to go home. They eventually convinced me to go by reminding me that Buddy, the famous baker from Cake Boss, has a store in the mall… after all the baked goods would help make up for the traumatic waffle experience we all had earlier. We start to drive there until all of the sudden ~CRASH~ we were involved in a car accident. Hubert’s black Pontiac was totaled. How will I get home now? Why did I agree to this! This is why being lonely is one of my favorite hobbies. We started walking away from the scene once we were cleared to go. We all felt down on our luck…until…… we notice three electric scooters. It was decided as a group that we needed a little pick me up from our terrible day. We jump on the scooters and we were in route for the Mall of America.

After an hour, we made it to the Mall of America! We arrived and spent the rest of our day in the Mall of America amusement park. It was the first time in my entire life that I actually enjoyed company. What a wild St. Paul Adventure.