It’s been months since I had inadvertently put Robin out to pasture. I decided that enough is enough. After months of grieving I had decided that that day was the day to bring back my plucky sidekick. I am a wizard after all, this should be easy.

I had never actually performed anything like this at all, I had only seen it in movies. At the time, I knew I was barking up the wrong tree. In the back of my mind I knew that dealing with dark magic such as this could lead to some dealings with demons that were not intended. But I was willing to take this risk, the well being of the tri-state area depended on it!

I took out my ancient book of spells, and flipped through the table of contents until I found… Aha! “Resurrection and Other Dark Spells You Probably Shouldn’t Cast”. Just what I needed. I followed the directions, like a shark follows an injured surfer. After hours of spell casting to no avail, I came to the conclusion that maybe it was too late for Robin to come ba-

That thought was interrupted by a knock at the door. I opened cautiously only to see… Robin! He was quite muddy and had the stench of death still on him, but it was undoubtedly him! He was acting a bit off though. He asked me to call him by some different name too. Macy or somethin’? I don’t know, kids these days and their trends. I’ll never be able to catch up with ’em.

After taking Robin under my wing, I decided after weeks of greulin’ training that it was his time to finally come out with me on a mission. Like a baby bird learning to fly, Robin was finally ready to flap his wings in the world of crime fightin’.

After a series of arsons throughout the humble town I protect, quite fearlessly I might add, we had a hunch as to who the culprit behind it all was. We had tracked the location of the villain, using my wizard intuition and Robin’s surveillance skills. We had made our way through his booby trapped lair, like mice in a maze. Finally, we were faced with the silhouette of the culprit. With my magic pistol already in my hands, I asked the fella’ to turn ’round. He slowly revolved and emerged from the shadows…

I aim my magic bullet to shoot him, my finger on the trigger and KABLAMO I take my shot. I didn’t even get a chance to see the guy!

Now, despite being a renowned cowboy, my aim hasn’t quite caught up with my countless other skills. My bullet ricocheted off the cavern walls and bounced around like a pinball. Finally, my magic bullet found its home. It landed in none other than Robin’s chest. At that very moment, I truly did feel my heart shatter into a million pieces. My beloved sidekick with so much potential, was now only reduced to flesh n’ bone.

The life of a wizard cowboy such as myself takes you by the reins. The days are long… and the nights are even longer, full of danger to be wrassled, and drinks to be drunk. I woke up one fateful day just like any other. Hungover. Groggy. Droolin’ on my kitchen table like a lion in a Spam factory. I knew I needed some hangover cure… and quick. I saddled up my faithful horse, and like a jackrabbit in a sandstorm we galloped on over to my favorite pharmaceutical company… or at least that’s what I think it is. I went to the counter and pick up my favorite hangover cure. Absinthe. The only way to cure a hangover is by drinking more. On my way outta there I heard some type of commotion. I come ’round the corner to where I tied up my trusty horse and there! Like a fox in a hen house I see a boy tryin’ to take what’s mine for his own. He noticed my trusty magic gun hangin’ on my hip like a sloth on a branch, and went to back away. Not many folk have the guts to mess with good ol’ Flint Radaghast. I respected that. From that day forward, I knew I needed someone that gutsy on my side.

To be clear, it’s me, Robin.

Well, this day could not get any worse. Not only did I discover that my brother is a homicidal arsonist, but right after he vowed to change, that stupid celestial murdered him!! I’m super sad and pissed off, so Flint suggested we go on a mission to take my mind off of it. This one should be easy. We picked up a call about a bar fight going down. We just gotta get in there and stop these guys from hurting each other. Piece of cake.

Alright, so we just pulled up and I told them to quit fighting or we’ll haul them off to jail. They stopped fighting, which is good, but now they’re just staring at me. It’s making me uncomfortable. Oh shit, one of them just pulled a pistol out of nowhere. Oh shit, he’s pointing it at me and–

Today, evil will meet its maker. As I record this, Flint Radaghast and I are about to bust into the evil lair of the arsonist who has been burning down buildings across the Tri-State Area. And here we go!

Wow, big surprise ladies and gentlemen! It’s Magnus Nimbus, the mayor! Who would have gues–

Hey guys; it’s me, Robin. I’m back. Macix didn’t realize I was in his backseat the whole time. This reveal got me so emotional that I was able to retake my body. I just can’t believe my brother could have committed these atrocities. I am absolutely shocked. But it seems like now that he realizes I am alive again, he is ashamed of what he’s done. He’s just explained his reasoning; I suppose being a garden gnome would make anyone go a little crazy. He’s vowed to be a hero like me, and we’re hugging it out now–

How DARE you try to reclaim your vessel? My work is NOT finished yet! Take THIS, Nimbus! See this, this is your heart! You know what else it is?? Your DINNER!!!

There we go. Now my purpose is fulfilled. Have your lame body back.

You may be wondering how Robin is posting on social media. He was gunned to death two months ago.

First, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Macix, and I am a celestial spirit. My celestial ancestors, who value their arbitrary moral code over punishing evil, have abandoned me, causing my magic to become corrupted. Let me tell you, it’s much cooler that way anyway — I now have the power to possess the dead. But it only works if I’m invited into the body via an incantation or spell.

Today, Flint Radaghast decided to raise his poor sidekick from the dead. But the old fool makes a better cowboy than wizard. When he fired his magical bullet at the corpse, his wish was only partially fulfilled. The body was reanimated, but Robin did not come back. Instead, I have taken control of this mortal vessel. I assure you, the boy you know as Robin is NO MORE. Now there is only MACIX, evil’s worst nightmare.

For whatever reason, Radaghast was really pissed off that I possessed this vessel. This bewilders me, because I am very much a preferable alternative to that kid. I was frankly insulted that he would rather have a petty thief turned superhero wannabe than the HARBINGER OF DEATH. But when we heard screaming outside, heroism kicked in for both of us, and we immediately forgot our dispute. We went outside to find that the sheriff station was on fire! We evacuated the building, and with some pointers from me, Radaghast was able to transform his pistol into a Super Soaker and douse the flames.

The two of us have now become partners to bring punishment to whomever has done this. We are currently investigating the station for clues. I don’t know who did this, but if you’re reading this, let me make you a promise: we WILL find you, and I WILL feed your heart to you.