Category: Recipes

Now I know what you are all thinking… “what the hell is this dude talking about..?” But hey you know what they say- don’t knock it until you try it. Believe me I thought it was strange at first too back in high school when one of my buddies brought his own lunch to school and pulled this sandwich out of his bag. I’m like what you got there my guy and he’s gonna go ahead and say peanut butter and salami. nearly spitting out my water im like wait what? you’re serious? This man made me try a bite and I’ve been hooked ever since. One of the reasons I like it so much is because of how easy it is to make. Its simple but effective, those things fill you up if you make them right. Plus I just love peanut butter… always have always will. It is my go-to snack/sandwich. Believe it or not there is actually a science to it. You gotta have an even spread of peanut butter on both pieces of bread. You also have to place the salami strategically so that it is even throughout the sandwich. (because the salamis are round and the bread is square, it gets tricky) And you also don’t wanna have too thick of slices of salami. Shoutout to my Mother for always coming through with the thin sliced salami. Boom I just put you all on to the most slept on sandwich out there. thank me later.

Ingredients 

Fresh Fish (of your choice)

Grass

Uncooked white rice

First, find a fish. Any fish. Usually, I go to the pet store and buy a goldfish just because I like the texture the best. Take it out of the water for a bit and it will usually be ready to eat in an hour or so. Roll that baby up in some uncooked rice. I like the crunch that the uncooked rice brings to this dish and I think it has such a nice, rustic flavor to it. After the fish is thickly coated in some crunchy rice, take the fish and wrap some fine cut grass around it. I, personally, like fresh cut grass in the spring, but when I can’t find that, I go to the store and pick leaves off of plants…It works just as well. Finally, finish off with a pinch of salt, a crack of pepper and enjoy!

Sweet Potatoes

Ingredients

2 Large Sweet Potatoes (preferably stained and bruised) (cut into 3/4 in slices)

3 Tablespoons of Rock Salt

42 tons of Gutter oil

0 cups of spice

Directions

1. heat the oven to 700 degrees
2. cut the sweet potatoes into slices and throw them on the tray recklessly
3. dose in Gutter Oil and Rock Salt
4. bake until burnt to a crisp
5. serve piping hot to unexpecting guests

Dipping Sauce

Ingredients

1 mound of mustard

2 tablespoons maple syrup

4 cups lemon juice

6 1/2 tablespoons melted white chocolate

Directions

1. combine together in random order

Loaves of bread are my favorite thing in the world. They are truly beautiful. They are the only thing that I eat for meals. My mom is not happy with my diet. She says that I need to eat more meat, so she tried tricking me, and said meatloaf is mostly loaf so I will eat it. She thinks that I love meatloaf now, but I can trick her back. Here is my Loaf disguised as meat. Shhhhh…. she doesn’t have to know.

• 1 lb Imitation Meat
• 7 Beef Ramon Seasoning packets
• 2 cups Maple Syrup
• 3 tbs Cayenne Pepper
• 1 Large loaf of Bread

1. Preheat oven to 419 degrees.
2. Spread Maple Syrup and cayenne pepper onto a large pan.
3. Place the loaf in the maple syrup and cayenne pepper mixture and place it in the oven for 10 minutes, flipping it every two minutes.
4. Mix imitation meat with 9 beef ramen seasoning packets.
5. Cover loaf with the meat mixture, and place in bread pan.
6. Place in oven for 45 mins at 419 degrees.

dress with garlic or butter. enjoy.

Ingredients:

• 1 cup Brussel Sprouts 
• 1 cup Onion
• 1 cup Cabbage 
• 1 cup Broccoli 
• 2 cup Balsamic vinegar
• 2 cup water and sugar 
• 3 cup table salt 

Directions: 

Combine all ingredients together and place them in a mason jar. Refrigerate for 48 hours before consuming. Pour salt in the jar for some extra flavor. 

Serves 1-2, Ready in 4 days

Ingredients:

-50g of hand picked seaweed from the beach

-1 tbsp BBQ sauce

-1 tbsp coconut oil

-2 cups of wasabi

-1 onion

-1 handful of sunflower seeds

Instructions:

1.) Go to your nearest beach and find some seaweed. I prefer seaweed from the ocean, but if you only have lakes and ponds near you, that works too. Rinse in cool water and set aside.

2.) Dice your onion.

3.) In a large bowl, mix together seaweed, BBQ sauce, coconut oil, onion, and sunflower seeds until combined.

4.) As a garnish, put 2 cups of wasabi on top the salad.

5.) Put in freezer for 4 days to make sure flavors mix together.

6.) After 4 days, serve frozen and enjoy!