Category: Mama’s Disapproval

So, I often find myself thinking of the time Argus and I had to team up when we heard commotion downtown. He is my arch nemesis, and always has been. This day was just super weird though. Argus wasn’t acting like he normally does. Normally when I see him, we glare at each other and eventually go our separate ways without speaking.

On this particular day, Argus invited me to get ice cream after scoping out the annoying man we saw downtown. Since I love ice cream, I went with it. For the rest of the day, Argus wasn’t being mean to me like he usually is. He was being….nice. I was uncomfortable. I am evil and am not used to people being “nice” to me. Anyways, I started to get the vibe that Argus may have a crush on me. Well, turns out he does. He told me later on that day. I started to wonder if I had a crush on him. I think I do. This may sound like a nightmare since he is my arch nemesis. But, now I’m starting to think we could be a perfect duo, like Bonnie and Clyde. I’m only 12 but this could be true love. Ew. I’ll stop now. Wait one more thing…my mom doesn’t approve of him, which makes this all the better.

I get a lot of questions on how I became such an evil child. Have you seen my mother? I take pride in it. It’s my favorite thing about myself. I wasn’t always this way though. I can still remember the day I knew I was no ordinary child. People fear me and I love it. It all started on my fifth birthday. I went with my mom to pick up my birthday cake from the store. When the baker handed over my cake, I was furious.
It had pink flowers, pink icing on the edges, and read “Happy Fifth Birthday Raven!” I hated it. I immediately grabbed the cake and threw it directly back at the baker who made it. The girly color and the delicate handwriting made me want to throw up. I started yelling as loud as I could at the grocery store clerks and demanded I get a new, black colored cake. I was tearing things off of shelves and making a huge scene. People were scared of me and I loved it. I had never felt more powerful in my life. Before getting kicked out of the store, my mom looked at me and grinned. She was proud.

From that day on, everything has been my way or the highway. I don’t take anything from anyone. I was not born to make friends, but rather to tear everyone and everything apart. I know that I will be this way forever, as I would never change a thing about myself.

I would never admit this to anyone nor let anyone see this other side of me. People know me as evil, creepy, and as a girl they would never let their kids hang out with, which is how I like it. But, sometimes when I’m alone, another side of me comes out.

 When I start thinking about my crush, Argus, I become soft and start to think about what it would be like to marry him someday. Gross, I know. I can’t believe I’m falling for my arch nemesis. I’m thinking I need to go to counseling or something to stop these feelings from happening. It’s disgusting and I wish I could just end it. Sometimes I have dreams about us playing in the park together, eating ice cream, and holding hands. I know this is a problem because those are all things I HATE doing. Plus, I hate Argus. He is my enemy!! I cannot like him. My mom also hates him. She doesn’t want anyone to change me because obviously, I am perfect. She just doesn’t see why I would like the town’s “hero”, and neither can I. He is completely opposite of everything my mom and I stand for. Until I figure out a way to end these feelings, I cannot be near Argus. I am going to continue to be extra mean to him, so that he leaves me alone and I never have to think about him again. 

So we all know that my mom is a giant evil red dragon. I get a lot of my traits from her. For example, my anger, my attitude, my humor, or lack thereof. But what I hear most people talking about when they see us, is the fact that we look nothing alike. I’ve wondered about this myself from time to time. I am an underweight 12-year-old human and my mom is well, a dragon. I’ve always known I was the coolest kid in school. Who else has a dragon for a mom? No one. People started making fun of me for it long ago. But, I don’t care. Everyone in my school is a loser. My mom tells me that I get my looks from my dad. 

My dad’s not in the picture but my mom told me about him once. He is a 7-foot tall human. I’d imagine he looks like me. Brown hair, brown eyes. He must be pretty cool if he fell in love with a dragon. Never-mind I said that though, I hate him. He left my mom to raise me on her own. Obviously, she’s doing a great job so it doesn’t matter. My mom and I are very close, as we share the same values. Our passion for being evil is unmatched. I feel that I’m very wise for a child, and I know that’s all thanks to her. I don’t even want to know what my life would look like if my dad would’ve never left. 

Man, I’ve been fighting crime for 3 years now. Can you believe that? In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever told you guys about how I became a superhero. It’s pretty wild as to how I got here now that I’m looking back on it, but since you’re here reading this I’ll tell you my story. 

I became a superhero when I was nine years old. Before then, I used to play superhero with my parents; we would tie blankets around our necks for capes, make forts in different spots throughout the house, and then we would have fun for the whole afternoon! When I turned nine however, I went with my dad to the restaurant he works at for this thing called ‘Take your kid to work day’. I learned a lot about what he did, but when he wasn’t looking I sneaked a sip of this funky looking drink that was sitting on the counter. It didn’t taste all that great, and it didn’t sit too well with my stomach after I got home that evening. I was sick for the next three days; my parents claimed that it must have been food poisoning, but after the discovery of my super strength and flying powers, it became clear that the superhero life had chosen me… and it’s been that way ever since. 

So I bet you were thinking that I became a superhero after I experienced some wrongdoing, right? While I can’t say that no superhero hasn’t become one because of that, my case certainly didn’t involve anything of the sort. Being a superhero is pretty cool, but I still don’t know what I drank in the restaurant kitchen that day.

Our city has a pretty big police squad that is usually pretty good about helping me out when Mama or another villain is attacking the city… I say usually because some people slack off (Yes I’m talking about you, officer Jim). But there are two police officers who never fail to answer my call, and their names are Marvin and Morton. They both do a phenomenal job in helping me catch the baddies, and sometimes they’ll share a box of doughnuts with me after a hard day. However if I’m gonna be honest with you, Morton is my favorite. He tells me funny jokes, he’s nice, and he’s a little goofy.

Morton always has a joke to tell me each day, and they’re not cheesy! He has also helped me find shiny things on days where Mama is a little more grouchy than usual, and he never hesitates to be the one who calls her over so she can see what we got. Now when I say that Morton is goofy, I’m not talking about his jokes. There are times when Morton helps me with a villain simply by being himself. Take my day with Raven for example; Morton was the officer who accidentally backed over the annoying guy that kept getting in my way, and after realizing that he backed over the man, Morton had the guts to crack a joke about him ‘not being able to run anywhere now.’ At the end of the day Morton is one of the best police officers you can find in this city, and in my opinion, he always will be.

So I once had to deal with this guy who was super annoying. You might remember him if you’ve heard my story about my day with Raven. Not only did he nearly turn off the barrier that keeps our super arch nemesis out of the city (I can’t give you the details on him though, it’s top secret), but he got in my way when I was trying to hang out with Raven. He seemed kinda wack not gonna lie, I mean, who refuses to leave after a superhero AND a villain agree that you shouldn’t mess with something? And when he got in my way as I was going to talk with Raven? Annoying. 

Now that I think about it, it’s probably a good thing that I called the police on him. He did mention that he included a piranha in a dish or something? Idk but that’s pretty rude if he knew the person he was giving it to was allergic to fish. Anyway, I just had to rant because I’m pretty sure y’all have something that really annoys you in life. Hopefully I never have to deal with someone like him ever again.

Do y’all remember that story I told a while back about Raven and her dragon mama? I don’t think I really mentioned my opinion on Mama, but I may as well tell you guys my history with her. Mama is the big red dragon who caused most of the trouble in the city, and she also happens to be Raven’s mother. Personally, I’m not the biggest fan of Mama because it seems that she enjoys going out of her way to attack the city on a daily basis… which means I don’t get to relax all that much, at least not like I used to when I was five. But now that Raven and I seem to have a thing, I guess I’m going to have to get into her good graces one way or another. 

I remember when I first met Mama. It was a cloudy day and the city was going about its business as usual, but just after lunchtime was when the trouble started. A loud roar had bounced off of the buildings, so I went to investigate. Mama was ANGRY, like so angry that she was trying to set the whole city on fire. I had never dealt with a dragon before, but I remembered all of the stories about knights fighting dragons that my dad used to read to me. Let me tell you, I learned real quick that dragons were not fans of swords being swung around. It took some work, but I finally got her to leave the city after being annoying for about two and half hours. 

Over time, Mama has become one of my most common (and favorite, but don’t tell her that) villain’s to deal with. She’s not extremely dangerous nor all that scary anymore, and some days I can simply give her something shiny in exchange for leaving the city alone. Who knows, maybe she already likes me a little bit!