Author: Where's_Taldo

BA, Enhanced Cookery | Investing | Black Smithing

A Worthy Shinigami

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Moments before being vaporized, I heard Ryuk laughing behind me. The god of death warned me when I picked up his Death Note that “No human who’s ever come into contact with a death note has lived to tell the tale.” Ryuk knew throughout the entire operation that I was going to die at the end of it. Once my spirit left my body, he was there to accompany me to the world of the dead: the Shinigami realm. Little did I know that the price for a shinigami to enter the human world, is the life of another human; I’ll have to keep that trick in mind now that I’m immortal! That was Doom’s biggest mistake! I will create an ideal world that is free from all of the rotten souls that inhabit it. I AM THE NEW GOD OF THIS WORLD!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i’M dOoM GuY

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SO THIS MF DOOM GUY THINKS HE OUTSMARTED ME DOES HE!? Well he’s absolutely right I had no idea this was coming. This dude just came out of nowhere, waltzed into the shuttle right behind us, and we had no fcking clue he was there. Doesn’t Palpatine have the force?? Shouldn’t he have felt his presence or something?? Mother of Ryuk, this is worse than Disney’s writing.

Anyway, Doom Guy killed me and I had no clue it even happened until I was ashes on the floor. Palpatine’s b*tch ass probably found a way out of the situation too like the coward he is. CURSE YOU DOOM GUY! I WAS THIS CLOSE TO CREATING THE PERFECT WORLD!!

All Too Easy

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Palpatine is such a schmuck. “Dark Lord of the Sith” my ass, this dude is as simple-minded as a gnat. All I had to do was tell him he could electrocute and murder anyone he wanted as long as we make it to NASA and hijack a rocket to gtf off this planet. For whatever reason it seems like Doom Guy was a bit more difficult to convince since he’s nowhere to be seen. Whatever, he was a pawn anyway. Once all of the security guards were tazed by that weird lightning sh*t Palpatine has going on, I grabbed the notepad with the pilots’ names and killed them off for a smoother infiltration into the rocket. As easy as stealing an apple from a Shinigami.

The Terrible Trio… Minus One

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Nothing is more satisfying than waking up to the adrenaline rush of being a god of death. I’m just like your average human though. I get up, do some light stretching to get the blood flowing, and then I write in my journal to stimulate my brain. The only catch is that whoever’s name I write in my Death Note will die of a heart attack 40 seconds after I finish writing. It’s really quite invigorating! However, the FBI has been on my tail for years now and they’ve started closing in on me. It’s really too bad for them that I’ve made some powerful new allies recently…

Deathnote: But in space and bad

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On the run with both deathnotes in hand, Taldo – aka “Kira” – and his partner Angang seek new sanctuary in space. Ever since that day 20 years ago, they’ve had one goal: an ideal world. The only location safe from the authorities is Mars. Once arrived at Tesla’s launch site, Angang uses his shinigami eyes to read the names above every worker’s head, and kills them instantly. With clear access to a rocket, the only thing left to do is calibrate the launch coordinates and cross reference the destination with known origins of organic life, so as to avoid any unnecessary confrontation with anyone or anything that may stand in their way of a clean and unnoticed landing.

While Angang calibrates, Light notices a newly orphaned service dog to his right. He fondly reminisces of his childhood pet, and how simple life was before he came into contact with this cursed notebook. He bends over to pet the dog. As he reaches down, he feels a tightness in his chest. It’s a heart attack. He looks up to see Angang glaring at him, holding a second deathnote. “You’ve grown soft, Taldo. I’ll take over as Kira from now on.”

Tokyo Drift(ers)

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After an entire work week’s worth of anticipation, a group of my buddies decided to meet up at the Imperial Palace around 6pm in the heart of Tokyo. I’ve decided to give you all live updates throughout the night so strap in for debauchery and foolishness.

Included in our endeavor: @ludilittleland @gerannaalger @calencelund

*8pm*

Not really my cup of tea, but I guess the flowers were cool? Not a lot to say, Calence kinda drug us along to “make us more cultured”. Kind of a drag tbh but its whatever

Next is BenFiddich bar on Fureai-Dori Ave. This place is making my wallet and liver cry, but hot damn are these $12 bloodies hitting the spot. It might by the Russian moonshine replacing the vodka but I can feel my findgert losin h conrol on mt ketbiard.

*9fm*

Aight yall, idk where the fuch Calence wenr byt he bettet bting me my FUGKINF MCDONALDS

*9:07fm*

CALCEN IS A HOOOOOOOOOOEEEEE

*9:15im*

Calnge said hes byyin mw mor drinhs so I fotgibe hhym

*10om*

THIS PLABE HAS ROBUTS SERBIMG BOOXE……… Terminator vives????????

*12pm, next day*

Woke up at Calence’s wearing only one shoe and without my jacket. Somehow still have my phone, wallet, and keys. Severely dehydrated with more questions than my last accounting exam. I’m told I was banned from the Imperial Palace.

Same time next week y’all??

Hobbies and other intricacies

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Hobby #1: Running my black metal fansite

Contrary to popular belief this is not a fansite about heavy death metal. The ambiguous title is simply to attract a wider audience. I actually am a licensed blacksmith, making medieval weaponry and posting it on a separate blog from this one. I’ve made an assortment of short swords and maces, as well as full body suits of armor.

I’m not as active as I’d like to be in the profession however, seeing as how these weapons are strictly for show and not many people in our Zoomer generation can handle any sort of sharp object without fainting or seriously injuring themselves.

Whatever the case, materials are quite hard to come by and even more expensive than they are scarce; which leads me to my next hobby…

Hobby #2: Investing

Not much to say here, I like money. I use money I earn to invest in other companies, in exchange for an extra percentage in addition to the money I loaned. I only rarely need to send out a bounty hunter to collect my payments.

Taldo Watfonso – Medical Clerk

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As a rule, I try to have as much fun at work as possible. That’s not to say I don’t take my job seriously, but what’s life without a little excitement and risk?

Instead of carrying out my typical daily routine of filing patient information and sending reports to patients doctors, I’ve constructed a little game to help me pass my meaningless hours: I call it “Prescription Roulette”.

The object of the game is to put myself in the randomly selected patient’s position, so as to become a more well rounded and empathetic individual. This is done by taking micro-doses of their assigned prescriptions (additionally, this acts as a training tool to build my immune system to a near-superhuman level). So far I’ve come across strep throat, pink eye, and gonorrhea. I have only experienced a mild fever and hives thus far, I’d say we’re on the right path…

To be continued…

– TW