Author: Talraham Abington

Rura’s Expectations

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“I’m a chisler, really. Chisling this, chisling that. A sculptor, really. But, I’ll keep you laughing. Kind of a dork… My buddy, Urbo, and Suburbo and I are always looking for something – trouble, fun, you name it. We take it seriously. We have to; we’re desperate. Sad, really. Who knows, might win the lottery. It’s happened before. Millions upon millions.“

Rura scratches away the silver coating from the lottery ticket, and what do you know? Rura wins her money back. The letdown is palpable, the air exiting the room like a spent balloon. But, Rura won’t give up. Look. Everyone’s laughing now; Urbo, Suburbo, and I. Rura’s laughing too. Maniacally.

Beef Wellington for Rejects

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There is nothing I like better than Beef Wellington. But, in today’s world who has time to go through the elaborate process of making such a thing? To satisfy my cravings, and to keep up with today’s active lifestyle I have developed a simple alternative that will delight your family, and impress your dinner party guests.

INGREDIENTS:
1 lb of ground beef
beef lard
1 can of mushrooms (don’t use fresh – too much time chopping)
1 can of SPAM sliced thin
2 packets of mustard lifted from your favorite restaurant of cafeteria
1 loaf of WonderBread

METHOD:
Throw everything in a blender, except for the WonderBread, and blend until it makes a paste reminiscent of putty.
Smash the Wonderbread with a large hammer until it is paper thin.
Layout the Wonderbread and place the meat putty ontop, forming a sort of loaf.
Wrap the Wonderbread around the meat putty loaf.

Cook in the microwave on High, until you think it might be safe to eat.
Slice to serve. That goo you find in the SPAM can makes a great sauce!
Goes great with Reject Pickled Vegetables, and Reject Olives.

Actual recipe looks NOTHING like this!!!

Talraham Abington, Sales Comedian

Talraham AbingtonLeave a comment

As a Sales Comedian I try my best to make the customer laugh as they shell out money for goods they don’t really need. I find that a good sense of humor can increase sales by making the customer feel like they are in on the joke. So, more than just products, I sell experiences, good times, and joy. This method has proven successful – case in point, I am laughing all the way to the bank. LOL.

Here is a link

here is some text la-di-da….. Eddan .